My Urgent Need

New 4 bedroom house,with 2 full bathrooms,cozy den,luxurious living room,beautiful dining room,fantastic kitchen,fabulous laundry room,long wide halls,all 4 bedrooms are big & spacious,both bathrooms are big & spacious,a fun gym,executive office,delightful home theater,hardwood & lanolium floors,vaulted ceiling in the living room,luxury everywhere,cozy comfy,a dream come true…detached 2 car garage,deluxe 2 car deluxe carport…beautifully manicured lawn…white vinyl privacy fence (backyard)…magnificent sun room…deluxe tool shed…the ideal neighborhood…in Green Cove Springs Florida. 2012-BMW-650i-Offers-an-Appealing-Style-and-Performance-2012-BMWhousemoney honey11

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My Journals From 2012

I’ve been reading them the past 3 days. I am angry in reporting…nothing has changed…nothing has improved since 2012…no progress,no advancement. Growth? I seriously question that. Well,I did quit smoking,now have a laptop pc,& a 2005 Pontiac Grand AM GT V6 coupe.

Its crushing reading those old journals…face to face with life unchanged & dreams unmanifested,while watching others land great jobs & fabulous careers…new houses,new cars,fine clothes,healings,abundance,success & prosperity…exciting,fulfilling lives…great vacations…all the things I’ve dreamed of for over 30 years.

I have journals from as far back as 2006.

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I’m hanging On By The Grace Of God

The old man claims to be dirt poor & always broke. I spotted him yesterday,in his bedroom,with stacks of cash on his bed. I didn’t say anything. He has all the money hidden in his bedroom,while making my sons & me suffer & live less than dogs. He likes to spread all that cash out on his bed,so he can feel & admire it.

Wal-Mart caused a big stink the other night. The asshole security accused my youngest son & his buddy of stealing. My son doesn’t steal! My son cussed that damn guard. I should sue Wal-Mart.

I continue doing my Laws Of Attraction readings & practices. I seem to be getting closer to God. However,we are still stuck with no possible way out,other than a miracle from God.

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Here’s My Latest

I’m loving my new running shoes. I should receive my joints med tomorrow.  I ordered 3 pc racing games. Yeah,I am 51 & a gamer,but only racing games,feeding my passion for beautiful cars. My joints continue hurting unbearable & at times my left ear & gums hurt terribly. My right eye is irritated again. I’m wearing new slacks & that always feels good & cheers me up a bit.

I ordered my favorite pc racing game…Need For Speed Underground 2…the original 2004 edition. It has the Honda Civic Coupe…my favorite car in the game. I’ve completed lots of careers in UG2…but a day came when my disc & key code got lost forever. I finally found UG2 at EBay…yesterday…& ordered it. I have the Euro version…it doesn’t have the Civic. The game is boring without the Civic.  It will be epic starting a career with Civic,again.

Now that I have to share my laptop I don’t blog as much,cuz my time on my laptop is greatly reduced. I will blog whenever I get the chance.

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I Am Alive & That’s That

I haven’t felt like blogging. I make many typos &…well…blogging is like a dreaded job. Anyway,I ordered myself a good pair of walking shoes,meds for my joints,& a pc racing game.  My husband bought me a tube of cream for my joints. It does ease the pain in my lower back,hips,& knees.

Now that I am back to sharing my pc with my older son I am back to 3 to 4 naps a day.  I hate that! I read & fall asleep. My son’s computer blew up & we can’t afford another 1,so we share my laptop. I get short 10 minute sessions. Its totally not working out. I hate sleeping my life away!

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Damn Ear Infection Has Returned

When I eat or drink the pain in my left ear intensifies.  As for the other pains I now have money for pain relievers & good walking shoes. I need meds for joint pain. There’s nothing I can do for the ear pain,other than acupressure,which seems to work temporary. My gums are inflamed. Folks,I am in a hell of a lot of pain.

As for those ass clowns my son hangs with…I will be doing fine & not cussing em out & dousing em with curses. I’ll be at peace,enjoying whatever I am doing,feeling proud of myself…& then those flunkies start free-loading…& they slopped mud all over the backseat of my son’s sports car…slashed a tire on my other son’s Camaro…& broke the windows on my car.  They are assholes.

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Neck Deep In Poverty,Suffering,& Misery

Let me acknowledge & give thanks for the positives…



food & drinks



physically complete

huge collection of books

collection of CDs

a laptop & desk top computers

X Box 360

running water




we eat out 3 times a week

we get spending money twice a year


family in Florida

we are all 4 alive & physically complete


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